As Emma turned one, I found myself reflecting on the journey of motherhood. A journey filled with deep love, unexpected challenges, and profound growth. From the moment Emma entered this world, my heart expanded in ways I never thought possible. I've never loved deeper than I have since her birth.
Growing up, I didn’t feel a strong calling to be a mother. It’s taken me a long time to admit that. Most women that I have met longed to be moms as their life’s purpose. For a long time, I felt a sense of guilt for not feeling the same way. Even though, I knew one day I would have children of my own. My ambitions were instead focused on graduating college, starting a good career, and excelling. For years after graduation, I struggled to find my place in my career. It’s within the last few years that I realized what I really enjoying doing and figuring out the ways that it can support me. I have continued to grow and learn professionally in the marketing space. Marketing involves storytelling which it’s very fitting because well, I love to write, create, build, and share a good story. Whether it be for a developing brand/business, or an established one, I have an eye and mind for how you should show up digitally and I love strategizing a road map on how to make this achievable. Working in this field is both fulfilling and creative, and it’s been something that I can call my own. I didn’t want becoming a mother to take all this away.
Society often portrays motherhood as a barrier to personal fulfillment. This narrative can often times be filled with emotions and words that trigger the feeling of limitations, sacrifices, and an end all to achieve your personal goals and dreams. My experience has been very different. Becoming a mother has shown me a strength I never knew I had. Yes, our lives have changed (how can they not?), and free time is mainly during nap times or the wee early mornings or late nights currently. We've found a rhythm that works for us and have tweaked it along the way, allowing both Ivan and I to be actively involved in Emma's life while pursuing our passions, hobbies, and goals. I'm proud of how we support each other, especially since we don't have the luxury of having our parents nearby to watch Emma for a few hours. It's a challenge that comes with living away from home, which we’ve accepted and have had to problem-solve ways to work around it.
Trying to balance work while navigating the complexities of being a new mom has undoubtedly been one of my greatest challenges. In addition, the struggle to show up for myself and motherhood has been a constant battle. I’ve also had to reshape my priorities, redefine my goals, and find a balance that works best for me. After a few months in, I realized my eating habits were off track. I was eating quickly or skipping meals. Once I became aware of this, I quickly made changes and continue to work on improving. Today, I've started meal prepping and prioritize weekly exercise to establish healthy maintenance and positive habits, which also helps me manage stress. I’ve always experienced numerous benefits when I workout.
Being a new mom has brought some interesting experiences of those around me. Especially when it comes to comments about my size and strength in family settings. I've heard remarks like, "I'm sure it's very hard for you to carry Emma, right?" or "Wow, look at this thin mom!" It's incredibly disappointing, to see and experience how women are objectified before, during, and after pregnancy. This has been one of the most disheartening aspects of my journey, especially considering the positive light in which “dad bods” are often celebrated, while mom bods are scrutinized.
Although I may not have felt called to be a mother right away, now, I cannot imagine my life without Emma. She has brought indescribable joy and has added more enrichment to my life. The best part of motherhood is witnessing her growth and seeing her unique personality shine through. In addition to the wonderment that she finds in life’s simplest of things. It’s truly been a humbling experience to watch.
If you’ve read this far, thank you. To all the women who fear that motherhood will overshadow their dreams, please know this. Motherhood doesn't limit you; it empowers you. It's a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and unconditional love. While the road may be challenging at times, the rewards are immeasurable. Embrace the journey, the new identity, and never underestimate your own strength.
To my sweet little one Emma, after year one, We did it!